Feeling sexy isn’t just about feeling hot or seductive. It’s a feeling of confidence, of self-assurance, that you’re capable and have what it takes to succeed. Confidence is a state of mind; it’s the way you think about yourself and your qualities, your abilities.
We all want to feel sexy and desirable but the truth is, it’s not something you can turn on and off at will. It’s something you teach yourself over time and practice, practice, practice. The more you practice feeling sexy and confident, the easier it gets. And next thing you know, you believe in yourself without even trying.
Listen to this live broadcast on Fantasy Dating Radio on the top 5 tools and insights to feeling sexy this summer… or read on below.
1. Practice Positive Affirmations
The first step to feeling confident is to banish self-sabotaging thoughts of negativity from your mind. The negative self-talk that’s on replay in your head is what you’re conditioning yourself to believe and you’re programming it to be true. A great way to change the negative chatter in your head is to practice positive affirmations.
Exactly like the Buddha quote, “All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.”
What we think we become.
Every day when I wake up, I write positive messages about myself. I literally have a journal where I talk myself up each and every morning before I even get out of bed.
Your affirmations should always be in the present tense and can be as simple as, “I am desirable.” “I am beautiful.” “I am capable.” “I feel powerful.” “I have everything my heart desires.” “I am ready to meet my perfect mate.”
Take this one step further and tell yourself these positive affirmations while looking in the mirror.
Now try it again in nothing but your birthday suit. There’s nothing like seeing skin to make you feel sexy.
2. Focus on your Body Language
If the most beautiful woman in the world walks up to you with her shoulders hunched, doesn’t look you in the eye, and mumbles, you can feel her low self-esteem oozing off. Let’s face it, it doesn’t matter how beautiful you are, if your body language is giving off a nervous energy, it’s unattractive.
Whether you’re an extrovert or an introvert, stand tall and proud. Straighten your shoulders picture your body on a string and that string being stretched. Walk with your head held high and speak clearly. Sends an entirely different message, right?
3. Start Moving
Exercise affects both your body and your brain in incredible ways. It displaces old bad habits, gives you vibrant energy and aids in weight loss. My favorite part is the extra boost of endorphins which helps reduce stress and feelings of positivity.
It doesn’t have to be hour long power sessions at the gym. It could be something as simple as a walk in the park, a swim in the pool or taking a yoga class.
It goes without saying that when you improve your body, you’ll feel more confident about how you look. But it’s more than that. When you put yourself first, you just feel good.
4. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
“Confidence is a funny thing. You go out and do the thing you’re most terrified of, and the confidence comes afterwards.” Christopher Kaminski
There’s no better way to boost your confidence than to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. It seems counter intuitive but this has boosted my confidence more than anything else.
For me going to a party where I don’t know a soul is the absolute farthest place from my comfort zone possible. The “gift of gab” (what my mom calls having the ability to talk to anyone about anything), isn’t one of my natural born abilities, so I panic when I start to think of what on earth I’m going to talk about to people I’ve never met. But I do this over and over because every time, I come out feeling more confident than before I went in. And I’m proud to say that I’ve reached the point, where it’s no longer a big deal for me.
This could mean speaking in public, traveling alone on vacation or move to a new city where you don’t know anyone. It could also mean asking that guy out you’ve had your eye on for months or even showing more skin than usual or going somewhere without makeup.
It’s about putting yourself out there and taking a risk even when you don’t know the outcome. Every time you put yourself in an uncomfortable situation, you come back feeling more and more confident… and sexy.
5. Don’t Worry What Other People Think
Because chances are, if you could see yourself through their eyes, you’re beautiful; you’re smart, funny and have it all together. They’re likely too busy with their own lives to be thinking about yours. Don’t be surprised if every other woman envies you in one way or another.
So frankly, there’s no point in spending energy trying to please everyone else because they already think you’re pretty fabulous and if you see yourself the way they do, you’d already be confident.
As Mary Leonard said, “You’re a woman. That alone makes you pretty damn remarkable.”